Grandma, what if there was this girl who met this person and he’s all like, ‘Hey, it’s the Pugster. What up, little man?’ and she’s all like ‘golly’ and ‘we’re going to go now’ and they’re running away together. What if she doesn’t get rid of him? What if all the good times are already behind me? I could stab my arm myself, and I could spray myself with mace, but it just wouldn’t be the same without her.